


Two Can Keep a Secret (If One of Them is Dead)

by hailait



Category: Beast (Band), K-pop
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-21
Updated: 2014-10-21
Packaged: 2018-02-22 00:57:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2488520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailait/pseuds/hailait
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junhyung gives dating Taejoo a shot and discovers that it's actually quite nice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Can Keep a Secret (If One of Them is Dead)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know what this is but TaeJun is OTP these days.

There were flowers on Junhyung's desk when he arrived at the studio that morning, a small but pretty collection of just-starting-to-bloom red roses in a clear vase. "Did a fan leave these outside?" he asked, trying to remember if there was some sort of special occasion he was forgetting that someone would give him flowers for. "Or are you putting your stuff in my workspace again?" Taejoo hadn't told him he was seeing anyone, but it was possible that there was someone he had his eyes on.

Taejoo turned around in his swivel chair, but stayed oddly silent.  "What, did you get a girlfriend?" Junhyung asked in an incredulous tone, looking back at the flowers. Taejoo got up with a sigh and plucked a card from between the roses, handing it to Junhyung and stepping back from him.

To. 주녕에게  
니가좋아

Junhyung let out a laugh, setting the card down beside the vase of roses. "I like you too, Taejoo. Did you get your royalties check in after work yesterday?" he asked, pulling his seat out to sit down. Taejoo grabbed him by the wrist before he could, though, and kept him from sitting. His expression was oddly serious, something Junhyung hadn't seen in a long time. "Hey," he sad as if he was annoyed for some reason. "Are you going to take my confession so lightly?"

"Confession?" Junhyung asked, all but cringing at the way his voice came out sounding weak. Was that what it was, a confession? How could his best friend be confessing to him after all these years? "I meant what I said, Junhyung. I like you."

"I'm straight," was the first thing that came to mind, and the way he blurted it even made himself cringe. "We're friends," he tried again, hating that it sounded as if he was desperately coming up with excuses not to date his friend. Honestly, that was exactly what he was doing. Aside from being straight—leaning towards heteroflexible, really—he wasn't sure why he was so adamant about not dating Taejoo. He could do a lot worse than Taejoo. He could probably do better, considering he had dated Goo Hara, but he could also do worse. They got along well as friends, he'd probably enjoy dating him.

"I can wait," Taejoo said, releasing his wrist. "If you can try, I'll like you openly from now on. I'll patiently wait for you."  Junhyung fumbled with his words for nearly a minute before simply taking his seat and opening the files he'd been working on, unsuccessfully trying to keep his mind off his best friend's feelings for him.

"I'm doomed," he muttered to Hyungnim when he arrived back at his apartment that night, kneeling down to make sure the unruly puppy ate all of the food Junhyung placed in his bowl. "And you don't care, huh? S'alright." He opened the door to the pup's pen when he finished around the apartment freely as he contemplated what to do about Taejoo.

He woke up on his couch, sweating with his boxers sticking to him in a familiarly uncomfortable way, mind racing with obscene images of Taejoo. He opened his eyes to see Hyungnim gnawing on his coffee table and let out a groan. "One problem at a time, dog," he grumbled as he picked Hyungnim up and deposited him inside his pen, closing the door firmly before leaving to take a cold shower.

"You couldn't sleep either, hm?" Taejoo asked when he arrived at the studio shortly after Junhyung. They were both earlier than usual, and in the absence of makeup on either male, their dark circles were obvious. Junhyung nodded his affirmation, though he suspected that his reason for not being able to sleep was completely different from Taejoo's. He found himself wondering if Taejoo had ever had such dreams about him (and decided he probably had) and the images that played through his mind made his face get hot. Oh god, he could actually see himself being with Taejoo. "Hey-" His voice came out sounding off, so he cleared his throat again. "Hey. Taejoo? About what you said yesterday... If you give me some time?" He was unsure how to finish the question, so he left it there.

Taejoo clearly understood, though, and it seemed to perk him up a bit.

 

Looking back on it, Junhyung realized that Taejoo was very good at subtly blurring the lines between a friendship and a relationship. Every little thing that changed between them over the weeks following Taejoo's confession was so gradual that Junhyung barely picked up on it, up until their first kiss. Their first kiss very clearly drew a line between their past and their present. They'd been out watching a movie, a typical "date" for them, and when they got back into Junhyung's car after it was over Taejoo had just leaned in and kissed him as he turned his head to check behind his car. At the time, Junhyung hadn't been sure if it was the surprising nature of the kiss or the person who had initiated it that had caused his heart to skip a beat before racing and the air to fill his lungs in shallow breaths. As weeks passed and Taejoo kissed him more and more and elicited the same reaction from his body each time, Junhyung came to realize that it was his friend who made him feel a little out of breath, his friend who made his heart beat erratically.

And he came to realize that he loved it.

 

They were in their studio, Taejoo working on a melody while Junhyung watched. Junhyung held Taejoo's hand loosely in his own, imagining his members' reactions to him revealing he was dating Taejoo. Telling them would be completely embarrassing after the countless times he had insisted he was straight when his sexuality was questioned, but he doubted he could keep it a secret from five of the people who knew him best. More than that, he doubted his ability to keep Dispatch from publicizing his relationship to the world. They'd caught him with Hara, after all, and he thought he had been about that meet-up.

Taejoo released Junhyung's hand to rest his arm across his shoulders, bringing him to his chest. Junhyung suggested a change to the melody on Taejoo's tablet, and Taejoo marked it down, lightly pressing his lips to Junhyung's head. Junhyung almost hated how much he loved the brief moment shared between them. "Tae?" Junhyung asked, and he could've sworn he heard Taejoo's heart beat a little faster when he didn't finish his name, but the response was a calm "yes?" Junhyung wondered why it felt like his own heart was going to beat out of his chest. "Should we...tell everyone? The members?"

Taejoo's response was delayed, but Junhyung couldn't blame him. It was complicated enough being in a straight relationship as an idol, but two guys dating? That would be impossible to recover from if the wrong people found out. "They're your members, Junhyung, and it's your career." Junhyung wouldn't sacrifice his career for anything, but at the same time he couldn't deny the way his body reacted to his friend's—his boyfriend's—touch. It was ridiculous how much it made him feel like a teenage girl.

"We should... Lie low. Like we shouldn't meet more than usual, shouldn't make SNS posts, shouldn't have too much skinship in public..." He was worried that listing rules for their relationship would upset Taejoo, but when he looked up his boyfriend nodded in agreement. "I don't need you anywhere but here," Taejoo said decisively as he pulled him in for a kiss, making Junhyung's heart beat more quickly, making it pound against his chest. It was chaste as ever until Junhyung's hands cupped Taejoo's face and his lips parted to deepen the kiss.

"Hey guys, I-" The pair withdrew from each other so quickly that Junhyung almost got whiplash, but it was too late; Kikwang had already seen them. "Whoa, gross," the younger male breathed, gaping at them from the doorway. "Kikwang, Kikwang..." Junhyung said quickly, getting up from the couch and going to him. "I, ah, I'm seeing Taejoo. But you really can't tell anyone. Alright? Please?"

"You can't tell me not to tell anyone, you know I can't keep a secret!" Kikwang protested loudly until Junhyung grabbed him around his neck and cut off some of his air supply. "Listen, 170cm, if you so much as breathe a word of this I swear on the sun's rise and fall that I will kill you. I will cut off your dick and you will die."

"Jesus, Jun," Kikwang gasped, straining to pull away from his chokehold. Junhyung loosened up a bit but waited until Kikwang promised to keep his mouth shut before releasing him. "You're sure you want to date him?" Kikwang asked Taejoo when he could breathe again, laughing a bit. Junhyung threw his snapback at the shorter member, who got the hint and backed out the door.

"Are you sure you want to date me?" Junhyung asked when Kikwang was gone, sitting back down on the couch. "Yong Junhyung, I've been in love with you for so many years now, even if I only realized it recently. Yes, I want to date you." Junhyung was somewhat hung up on Taejoo's use of the word love—was he expecting Junhyung to say it back?—but Taejoo stopped his thoughts by leaning over for a kiss. Like always, Junhyung's heart fluttered.

 

Dating Taejoo, like being friends with Taejoo, was easy. They did the same things they always did before—work in the studio, go out to drink, debate over their ongoing projects—only since they started dating they spent more time behind closed doors holding hands or kissing or just laying around together. Kikwang was doing a good job of keeping his mouth shut, and nobody thought anything about the time Junhyung spent with Taejoo. It was all surprisingly a lot easier than he had anticipated it being. Aside from the fact that they were both grown men in a committed relationship and probably should have been getting laid regularly but were not, it was all going splendidly.

Junhyung thought about it all the time. He was just curious, mostly, and had been since that first dream he'd had of having sex with Taejoo. He hadn't slept with a man before, and from what he knew, Taejoo hadn't either; maybe that's why neither had made a move. But god, if it was anything like his dream, Junhyung knew it would be amazing. Maybe Taejoo could tell Junhyung was more interested in it the next time he met, or maybe he had come to a similar conclusion on his own, because before Junhyung could say anything he oh-so-casually suggested that Junhyung spend the night at his apartment after they finished work.

Junhyung wondered on his way over if maybe the invitation didn't mean all that he thought it did, but Taejoo quickly put those thoughts out of his mind with the way he kissed Junhyung when he arrived. His fingers went into his unoccupied belt loops and pulled his hips closer, their cocks touching for the first time through their clothes and making Junhyung groan lowly in anticipation. Taejoo pulled him through his apartment as they kissed, all messy and eager for more.

Taejoo landed on his bed with Junhyung on top of him, Junhyung's lip bumping against his teeth somewhat painfully. Junhyung ignored it and Taejoo didn't notice. Taejoo switched positions and nudged Junhyung up to be fully on his bed, tossing aside the clothes he had worn the day before which laid atop the side of his bed he didn't sleep on. Junhyung's head landed on Taejoo's pillow, and Taejoo wasted no time in kissing him when he was comfortable. They chased each other's lips, neither giving the other much of a break when he would pause for air, and Junhyung was so perfectly happy that he couldn't figure out why it had taken them so long to start dating.

"You wanna bottom, yeah?" Taejoo asked, seeking confirmation for his expectation as he started to lift up Junhyung's shirt and reveal his rarely-exposed stomach. "Whoa, I—no," Junhyung sputtered, pushing his shirt back down and sitting upright as he felt anxiety replace his arousal. Okay, so maybe that was how his dream had gone, but dreaming it was far from actually doing it. Who knew if he'd even like it?

Taejoo could probably feel Junhyung's apprehension; to his credit, he did his best not to make it awkward. "We'll figure it out next time, okay?" he asked, sitting down beside Junhyung and slinging his arm over his shoulders, lips landing atop his head. It wasn't how he'd wanted the evening to go, but he was capable of waiting. He'd get more comfortable with the idea or Taejoo would offer to do it, they'd work it out.

For the record, their first successful hookup happened that weekend, and the debate over positions was put to an end with a coin toss (the coin landed in Taejoo's favor and Junhyung damned it to hell).

 

Junhyung was never able to say he was in a relationship, not to the four members who didn't know, not to his parents, and certainly not to curious show hosts. He hated lying about it all the time, particularly because he was truly enjoying being with Taejoo. He talked to Kikwang more and more, though the dancer always seemed reluctant to talk about his personal life; he'd made it clear before that is wasn't because Junhyung was gay ("not gay" Junhyung had grumbled at him) but because the more he knew, the more likely he was to spill something to someone. He was a self-proclaimed idiot, sure, but he knew that Junhyung's relationship was capable of becoming a scandal that would ruin the entire group's career.

Junhyung felt he was handling the delicate situation well. He and Taejoo had always been friends, so he could hang out with him and the members and refrain from doing anything friends wouldn't and thanks to that they never suspected that he wasn't telling the truth about not being in a relationship. If he was pressed at a schedule to talk about his dating life, he had the option of saying that he was devoted to his fans, something they always appreciated. Taejoo never went over to Junhyung's apartment at odd hours, and most nights they spent together were at Taejoo's apartment, where neither Dispatch nor fans knew where to find him. Taejoo made constant appearances on his Instagram account, but that was nothing new, and nothing that caused anyone to be suspicious. Though Junhyung had mixed emotions about their façade, they were truly pulling it off without flaws.

"Hey, Hyung," Dongwoon started casually, looking up from his meal to focus on Junhyung and Taejoo. "When did you start dating Taejoo Hyung?" Junhyung was pretty sure he instantly broke out into a cold sweat at the maknae's seemingly innocent question. "What? Who told you that?" Dongwoon laughed at his reaction, and it occurred to Junhyung that Dongwoon was just teasing him over his close friendship with Taejoo. The couple at the table relaxed, knowing their secret was safe, and started harassing Dongwoon for his relationship with his right hand in exchange.

 

The pair agreed not to wear anything as obvious as couple rings, so one hundred days into their relationship, Taejoo gave Junhyung a watch and Junhyung gave Taejoo a bracelet. Junhyung wanted to tell Taejoo that he loved him that day, but despite their closeness Junhyung couldn't manage to put the words together. Taejoo had only used the word that one time, and though Junhyung hadn't heard it from him since he knew Taejoo loved him. What he didn't know was why he couldn't tell Taejoo that he felt the same.

It slipped out a few weeks later, a reflexive response to Taejoo taking care of him when he was sick. Taejoo had gotten some food delivered, and Junhyung said it without thinking when Taejoo brought it to him. "I love you too," Taejoo said without missing a beat, setting the meal down in front of him and kissing the side of his head.

Junhyung was always expecting them to have some sort of a fight—because what kind of relationship was so perfect that it was free of disagreements?—but they never did until Taejoo insisted upon meeting Junhyung's parents as his boyfriend for the first time, a request for his quickly-approaching birthday. As much as Junhyung would've liked to have been able to do that, he didn't know how his parents would react to them dating, and so he refused to introduce them anytime soon. Taejoo (rightfully) called Junhyung out on being a coward, and Junhyung hung up on him.

In addition to their argument, Junhyung was annoyed when Taejoo apparently decided not to show up to work the next morning, since they were just starting to really get into their newest track. "About time," Junhyung grumbled when the door to the studio opened, but when he looked up he only saw Kikwang. "Junhyung, uh…" His tone of voice made Junhyung feel instantly worried. "What is it, Kikwang?" Junhyung pressed, fearing that Kikwang had let something about Junhyung's relationship slip to someone. "Taejoo," Kikwang started, his voice tentative, "was in an accident."

Junhyung pictured it in his head as Kikwang spoke, and it made him feel sick. Taejoo, his Taejoo, in an accident? It just didn't seem right. "So he's…he's…" "At the hospital," Kikwang supplied. "They said he had a few broken bones but he's fine, he's awake and everything." Junhyung felt significantly better knowing that the worst hadn't happened, but he still found himself rushing to the hospital without another word.

"Kim Taejoo, you idiot," Junhyung blurted when he found Taejoo's room and saw him all bandaged up in the hospital bed. The words were directed at Taejoo, but he really should have been saying them to himself. "Let's have dinner with my parents tonight." Taejoo only laughed, holding out his arms, and—secrets be damned—Junhyung crawled into bed on top of him and kissed him. The pair's interaction went unnoticed by staff passing by, and Taejoo kicked him out of the bed before that could change.

The members later showed up to check on their composers and Junhyung took advantage of the otherwise empty room to announce that he was dating Taejoo. "Finally," Doojoon said in an exasperated tone, rolling his eyes. "Kikwang told us all when he got drunk at the New Year's Eve party," Hyunseung added, and Junhyung glared at Kikwang. It was the last week of March, meaning that the other members had known for the past three months and nobody had told him they knew. It took Yoseob and Dongwoon both to keep him from strangling Kikwang, the older members incapable of preventing anything as Hyunseung was blankly observing and Doojoon was doubled over laughing. "You're dead, Lee Kikwang!" Junhyung shouted after him when the younger member decided to leave the room before Junhyung could free himself and get his hands on him.


End file.
